Sheridan :: I'm A Little Hot ..............

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I'm A Little Hot ..............

by dsheridan on Mon 07 Jul 2008 09:02 PM EDT | Permanent Link | Cosmos

........... that Glen Sather and the New York Rangers did not have the cojones to sign Sean Avery and Jaromir Jagr. I'm not really ticked off they didn't sign Jagr, but the Rangers need Avery's grit and sociopath tendencies. What are the Rangers beat writers going to do now that Avery is in Dallas? What is Vogue going to do without its fashion intern?

Avery just might be the most diabolical genius to ever walk the corridors of Madison Square Garden. Not only did he unhinge Devils goalie Martin Brodeur, but Avery's internship program should be studied by dating experts like Adam Carolla and Dr. Drew. When Avery left Vogue, he must have carried out a black book filled with numbers. The man is a genius. Genius is a precious commodity and how can one let it depart? Glen Sather, answer me that!

Would you rather hit Manhattan with Avery or ARod? That's a tough question.

Sean Avery checking out Sigur Ros at Bonnaroo '08.

I saw a twelve-year boy studying the front pages of the Daily News and the New York Post today. The kid was mesmerized by the ARod affair, but he was very careful not pick up either publication. It's almost as if he didn't want the dirt to get on his hands.

Did anyone else know Madonna used to canoodle with Laker assistant coach Brian Shaw? Sure, we all remember the rumors of Madonna with Jose Canseco or Mark Messier, but who remembers the Brian Shaw period of Madge's dating life? Was Brian Shaw her muse?

Derek Jeter has been a Yankee since 1996 and now ARod dominates the headlines of the tabloids. ARod really hasn't tried hard to protect his image or his privacy. People accuse Jeter of being reserved and guarded, but he's also managed not to become a running joke.

Brett Favre - leave us alone. Go home. Don't pass Go. Do not collect $200.00.

I heard Chip Caray refer to the Cubs-Cardinals rivalry as a "friendly rivalry." Yawn. Was Nick Lachey and Jessica Simpson a friendly divorce? Did Lisa "Left Eye" Lopes and Andre Rison amicably settle their differences? Can someone enlighten me as to what is a friendly rivalry?

Over the long 4th of July weekend, could there be a lesser amount of baseball shown? Remember when ESPN used to give us a couple of games on the holiday? Those were the days.

Jagr took the money and skipped to Russia. I would have done the same thing. Former WWF legend Ivan Putski used to refer to it as Polish Power, I'll refer to it as Putin Power.

Polish Power

I'm not sure if anyone will agree with me, but watching the Williams sisters play each other is difficult. Even from watching their Wimbledon final on television, it appears extremely uncomfortable for Venus and Serena. I thought Serena was going to overrun Venus based on the early part of the first set, but Venus rallied and took the title. Would that be considered a friendly rivalry?

Does anyone matter in the men's game besides Nadal and Federer? If you're a men's tennis player and you're not one of the aforementioned names, pick up the phone and call Patrick Ewing, because you may never win a slam with these two guys on the tour.

I was addicted to the U.S. Olympic Swimming Trials this weekend. No, I wasn't, but Aquaman was one of my favorite members of the Hall of Justice and I feel a strong connection to our athletes in the chlorinated water. I do miss the men racing in their banana hammocks.

I saw Sex and the City this weekend and I didn't expect to see some sausage in a shower scene. If you ask my girlfriend, I have long decried the absence of gratuitous mammary glands on the big screen, but I was happy to see women and gay men getting a little somethin' somethin' in the gratuitous titillation department. There was a little gratuitous mammary gland action as well. Praise the Lord and Pass the Peas!

From my crack research assistant Patrice:

Chicago's Friendly Rivalry

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Re: I'm A Little Hot ..............

by Anonymous on Tue 08 Jul 2008 10:43 AM EDT | Permanent Link

ARod, ARod, ARod. This guy can't get out of his own way. First of all, if you're going to violate your vows and destroy your image, go for some hot, young flesh rather than some dried-up skank has-been like Madonna. But judging from his (soon-to-be-ex)wife, he likes being the prettier of the two. I bet he watches himself when he's doing it (like Christian Bale in American Psycho).

Now that the beautiful backhand of Justine Henin-Hard-on is gone, the womens' game is dead to me. There was a time in the 90's (Graf, Seles, fading Martina) when I thought the womens' game was entertaining, now it's just tiresome. Venus and Serena is agony to watch. And to listen to Dick Enberg use the word "grace" with either of them is comical; these are two grunting power hitters, with little in the way of grace. They are a fantastic out-of-the-projects story and they accessorize well, but let's not get all flowery to describe their bruising style. In the meantime, I can't keep track of all these Russian girls with their blonde hair, long legs, and longer names. They all look the same to me (except for Kuznetsova wo stands out with her butch look).

Men's tennis has been dead for years. The rackets have made the game boring. Federer has been an artist, but it's no fun to see him toying with guys like a cat with a 3-legged mouse. The game has needed a good rivalry for a long time now. Sampras-Agassi was only an ok rivalry in my book. Maybe it's because it was when I was growing up, but the Connors-McEnroe-Lendl (and Chrissie-Martina) age was the apex of tennis rivalries for me. Not only did you have contrast of styles, but you had genuine animosity, as well as political underpinnings. These guys truly hated each other, which made for great theater.

Things have changed a bit with the rise of Nadal, since it adds some drama to a moribund game. Sure, Nadal has owned the red clay, but that is a small part of the year (and the dullest too). Now that he's won on grass, the game is on. Now, let's see if the studly Nadal has not blown his load before the US Open. This is more of a "friendly" rivalry since both are good sports.

I watched ESPN this morning propose Knoxville Tennessee as a "Titletown" due to their women's BB success. CAN WE PLEASE STOP THE MADNESS?!?!?

Someone please take Brett Favre and pound a stake into his heart, stuff a bulb of garlic in his mouth, and cut off his head. Alternatively, just make him go away.

Any man who goes to see the Sex in the City movie is either openly queer or is trying to get some eponymous action. Never understood the appeal of that show. If I wanted to listen to vapid women bitch about their place in the world, I'll go to the BC class reunion.

Re: Re: I'm A Little Hot ..............

by dsheridan on Tue 08 Jul 2008 12:28 PM EDT | Profile | Permanent Link

Knoxville as titletown - that is completely absurd. ESPN is desperate for programming in the summer and concocts gimmicks like titletown to entertain stupid sports fans. Is there any doubt that titletown is currently owned by the city of Boston and the state of Massachusetts?
1. Boston Red Sox 2007 World Series Champion
2. New England Patriots (Super Bowl Runner-Up to the miracle NY Giants)
3. Boston College Men's Hockey NCAA Champion
4. Boston Celtics 2007-08 NBA Champion

I watched the replay of Nadal-Federer on ESPN Classic last night and I'm not sure how Federer lost the fifth set. He was rolling and then Nadal took over. It appeared Federer started to tire and Nadal pounced. I thought the deciding fith set came down to conditioning and Nadal is used to playing five setters on clay.

Gwen Stefani looked completely bored in the Friends and Family Box. Her hubby, Gavin Rossdale, is a big fan of Roger's but Gwen looked like she had been hitting the snooze button.

I tend to agree that twenty-five years ago tennis rivalries were far more personal. I still don't believe there is much love between McEnroe and Connors. Connors hated everyone and McEnroe might have hated himself more than he hated anyone else. Do you think Borg and McEnroe shared scones one morning at Wimbledon?

Was this the greates tennis match of all-time? Culturally, we are now very quick to label everything the best ever. Is Michael Beasley the greatest rookie in NBA history after playing in one summer league game? Was Nadal - Federer the best match in tennis history? I want to know how many people who wrote or said this have ever watched McEnroe vs. Borg in the 1980 Wimbledon Final. Their fourth set tie breaker is epic. Do I think Nadal - Federer was a spectacular match? I do, but let's wait and gain some perspective before labeling it the greatest match in tennis history.

You can purchase the Borg - McEnroe match on dvd:

http://www.amazon.com/Wimbledon-Collection-Classic-Match-McEnroe/dp/B0002HOEK8

A few weeks ago, Tiger Woods triumph over Rocco Mediate was the greatest moment in golf history. Are we truly living in the greatest time in sports history?

Agasssi - Sampras was an okay rivalry. Sampras was tough to root for and I used to question his conditioning. There was the young Agassi and the mature Agassi. Which Agassi did you like or dislike?

Does anyone watch tennis besides the two of us?

Sex in the City was a wonderfully written show. I know it doesn't compare to iCarly or Hannah Montana, but they too will grow up.

Re: Re: I'm A Little Hot ..............

by JustanOldBroad on Tue 08 Jul 2008 05:57 PM EDT | Profile | Permanent Link

Sex in the City has more T*T shots and soft porn sex scenes than any summer testosterone driven action flick this summer thus far. So ask yourself this question....which is more 'Queer', a guy going to see a chick flick with bouncing bodacious ta-ta's and at least 3 soft core cinemax at night sex scenes or a guy watching sweaty, HGH muscled (and no, I'm not talking about Clemens) action stars shooting off their phallic symbol-I-mean-guns for two hours?

Hmmm, makes you wonder.

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