New York Rangers head coach John Tortorella has been handed a one-game suspension by the NHL for his Sean Avery-esque behavior in a Game 5 thumping by the Capitals at the Verizon Center in Washington, D.C. Tortorella made Avery a healthy Game 5 scratch for conduct detrimental to the team, watched his team get shellacked by the Capitals 4-0 and then gunned a water bottle into the crowd to silence a heckler behind New York's bench.

Is Tortorella serious? What type of credibility does Tortorella have with his players if he conducts himself no different then Sean Avery? Frustrated by his team's performance, Tortorella decided to take out his frustrations with the fat guy in the white shirt behind the Rangers bench. How is that any different than Sean Avery taking stupid penalties at the end of Game 4, which the Rangers won 2-1.

The best part of Tortorella's meltdown - he missed the beer swigging heckler with the Rangers water bottle and beaned the woman behind him in the forehead. Tortorella then brandished a stick at the fan, which makes you think how stupid is John Tortorella? As an organization, the Rangers have released a statement disagreeing with Colin Campbell's one-game suspension of Tortorella, but it's obvious the Rangers organization have their heads where the sun doesn't shine.

The Rangers disagree with the suspension, but Tortorella gunned the water bottle into the crowd before he was doused in beer. The Don Johnson stubble wearing clown, Tortorella, instigated the incident with the fan. If Tortorella can't handle a heckler, he needs to get into a new line of work. The last time I looked, NBA coaches Phil Jackson and Greg Poppovich don't hurl water bottles and basketballs at hecklers behind the bench. (I'm sure Jackson and Pops have never been heckled.) As much as the NHL is attempting to enter the 21st century, it is this type of thuggish behavior that makes it the ugly red-headed stepchild of North American sports.

Baseball's Albert Belle, then known as Joey Belle, is lambasted for gunning a baseball at a heckler. The NBA's Ron Artest is labeled a pariah for taking actions into his owns hands and going after an ice cube-throwing fan in Detroit's Malice at the Palace, but the Rangers organization disagrees with Tortorella's one-game suspension. The Rangers should feel fortunate it's only a one-game suspension.

The NHL needs to move away from the Charlestown Chiefs antics of boobs, like Tortorella, and embrace the artistry of its athletes. Somewhat obscured in Game 5 was Alexander Ovechkin's goal of the playoffs. This rivals the best goals seen in the Premier League and LeBron's A List of Exploits, but the focus is on an unglued coachwith a 1980s fashion sense, gunning a water bottle at a fan.

How does this affect the playoff series and Sunday's crucial Game 6 in Madison Square Garden? The Rangers will need Hartford Wolf Pack head coach Ken Gernander to hop behind the bench and assist Jim "Koharski, have another doughnut ya fat pig" Schoenfeld. Most NHL teams have a head coach and two assistants behind bench, but when Rangers general manager Glen Sather fired Tom Renney in the middle of the season - he also sacked Renney's two assistants. Schoenfeld was moved from the front office to assist Tortorella behind the bench - giving the Rangers a head coach and one assistant behind the bench. Schoenfeld has handled the defensive pairings and Tortorella has controlled the line combinations, which presumably Ken Gernander will take over for Game 6.

The Rangers have everything under control, right? Is this a distraction for the team or a classic example of what makes us stronger b.s.? It's certainly taken the focus off Sean Avery's misanthropic behavior - nice job, Torts!

My Advice To John Tortorella: The next time you get that frustrated - send Sean Avery after the heckler.

Capitals Will Need Kevlar at MSG

The Rangers contend they repeatedly asked the kind folks at the Verizon Center to beef up security behind the Rangers bench, but their pleas fell on deaf ears. The Capitals shouldn't expect any help from New York's Finest or MSG security when they take the ice Sunday afternoon. Not only should the Capitals watch out for beer showers and AAA battery scalp massages, but Ovechkin and crew should beware of the swine flu.

Joe Thornton Is Alive!

San Jose's Joe Thornton showed up and did more than compete against Ryan Getzlaf and the Anaheim Ducks in Game 5. Thornton had some snarl going, which was seen before the third period face-off between Jumbo Joe and Getzlaf. Watching on Versus, it was obvious to puckheads everywhere that Thornton was woofing at Getzlaf.

Thornton finished with a goal and two assists and had an assist on Patrick Marleau's game-winner in OT. With the 3-2 victory in Game 5, the Sharks staved off playoff elimination.

Pens Eliminate Flyers

The Penguins scored not only one goal - but two goals - on pucks that were batted in the air and ended up behind Flyers goaltender Martin Biron. Tough way to lose.

Flames vs. Hawks

Calgary was a no-show in Game 5. Too many guys were watching the Mel Kiper, Jr. /Todd McShay NFL draft coverage marathon on ESPN and eating chicken wings, which left them unprepared for Game 5. How can you lose 5-1 in a Game 5?

Ovechkin's Goal of the Playoffs