At the Washington Press Correspondents' Dinner, comedian Wanda Sykes offered that Rush Limbaugh should experience kidney failure and die. I'm not so sure I want to go so far as to have people die of organ failure, but I do understand Ms. Sykes's sentiments. How about constructing a large man-made island (Guantanamo?) where people who offend the Sheridan sensibilities would be sent for reprogramming or a daily dose of Sheridan? My girlfriend has volunteered for a daily dose of Sheridan, but why should others be excluded from my bon mots?
In the great tradition of Devil's Island and Guantanamo, I would like to invite these folks to my island, La Isla Sheridan, for a lengthy stay:
Rush Limbaugh - I'll make sure the island apothecary stocks up on Oxycontin for the white collar drug addicts who will make La Isla Sheridan home.
Brett Favre - Brett could enjoy retirement away from the harassing hordes of NFL reporters constantly questioning his decision-making on and off the field. La Isla Sheridan has the perfect accommodations for narcissistic egomaniacs who cannot escape the intense glare of the media spotlight. Last year, Favre opened up to Greta Van Susteren about his precarious situation with the Green Bay Packers. Hopefully, in the days ahead, we'll see Mr. Commitment on the "The View."
Dick Cheney - I'd like to repeat, La Isla Sheridan has the perfect accommodations for narcissistic egomaniacs who cannot escape the intense glare of the media spotlight. La Isla Sheridan will gladly provide Colin Powell with a visitor's pass to say hello to his good buddy, Dick. Unlike Colin Powell who can boast of military service, Dick Cheney managed to secure five military deferments from 1959 to 1967. Where would this nation be if George W. Bush had trusted the counsel of Colin Powell and not the scare-mongering pearls of wisdom grumbled by the Lords of Darkness Dick Cheney and Donald Rumsfeld? In stark contrast, Condoleeza Rice is quietly assisting the Obama administration.
Arlen Specter - Political jackals will not be an endangered species on La Isla Sheridan. Why should the voters of the Keystone State be influenced by party politics? By switching allegiances to the Democratic Party, Specter has offered the great state of Pennsylvania another six years of Snarlin' Arlen. Apparently, Arlen Specter's pristine personal character and engaging personality should sway the voters of Pennsylvania to give the 79-year-old Specter another six years. Specter should be given a chapter in John F. Kennedy's "Profiles In Courage."
Madonna - Plenty of babies to be adopted on La Isla Sheridan, but how about entertaining the thought of adopting a baby born addicted to crack from Gary, Indiana? I'm not going to argue that African babies shouldn't have a home with Madge, but there are also American and British children - in serious need - that I suspect would be easier to adopt. (Alex Rodriguez is in serious need of something and last I heard it's Kate Hudson. Kate Hudson is no good for any man - just ask Chris Robinson and the man she drove insane, Owen Wilson. )
No, we didn't. We won a free trip to La Isla Sheridan!
Manny "Man Ram" Ramirez - The island apothecary will also stock up on female fertility drugs for Manny Being Mary.
Nancy Pelosi - La Isla Sheridan has all the amenities to host seminars and representatives from the C.I.A. We may need a court stenographer for those meetings.
Eliot Spitzer - The former New York governor and attorney general wants to be a part of the national intercourse ( correction: discourse) on the state of our nation's fragile economy and the malfeasance found on Wall Street. On La Isla Sheridan, there will be plenty of room for Spitzer's bag of loot to buy $80,000. worth of hookers, but he will need to supply his own condoms. Oh, that's right, he didn't use condoms.
Governor Spitzer's "O" Face
