At times, I wonder why I started a blog. Was it to score with MILFs or bag a few young ladies looking for Daddy Dearest types? Was it the positive financial impact on my bank account's bottom line or am I blogging to provide the nation with a Sheridan stimulus package? Am I blogging to contribute to the nation's elevated discourse on "Jon and Kate Plus Eight" or did I reach for the keyboard to become a blogger/publishing dyamo/younger and more handsome version of Rupert Murdoch in a subversive attempt to undermine the mainstream media.

These are all valid questions, which I will bring up with my therapist if I had one, but I'm not sure any of them accurately depict the essence of my personal crusade.

Did I start a blog to name the five people I would like to have dinner with?

1. Anthony Bourdain 

2. Gordon Ramsey

3. Mario Batali

4. Dennis Leary

5. My Girlfriend - She routinely accuses me of pandering by putting half-naked women on the blog. This is a far from well-concealed attempt to curry favor with my girlfriend and allow her some real male companionship. She may experience testosterone overload at the dinner table, but she experiences that with me everyday.

Leary is invited for laughs and the occasional biting, sarcastic remark. The chefs (girlfriend included) are all invited because it should guarantee some fine grub and some decent booze. Batali is invited because he likes the Black Crowes. Ramsey gets a seat because BBC America's "The F Word" is a fantastic show.  As my girlfriend's 16-year-old autistic son has described Pittsburgh Penguin Ruslan Fedotenko, "Bourdain is my homeboy."

My Homeboy

Rachael Ray will not receive an invitation because she may decide to bring motherfuckin' Dunkin' Donuts for dessert. Give that crap to a homeless guy or your husband, but it ain't making an appearance at my imaginary dinner table.

Did I start a blog to predict sporting events?

Lakers in six. Superman Dwight Howard is not going for 40 against Phil and Kobe. The Lakers match up well versus the Magic.

Does it bother anyone else that Magic owner Rich DeVos accumulated his wealth from co-founding Amway?

Lakers owner Jerry Buss made his cash in real estate. Buss has a Ph.D. in physical chemistry. Did Hugh Hefner earn the same degree?

I started a blog to comment on Judge Sotomayor.

I've had to read enough amateur legal opinions on Facebook to know enough not to comment on Judge Sotomayor's nomination for the Supreme Court. I find it amazing that people feel intellectually and legally well-equipped to make Linda Greenhouse pronouncements on the law after watching a few episodes of "Law And Order" and "Judge Judy" - when the person has never set foot in a law school classroom. Abraham Lincoln taught himself the law, but it's 2009 and amateur legal scholars aren't in great demand unless your mailing address is a federal penitentiary. Before anyone thinks I'm talking about one of my Facebook friends, I'm not.

Stop reaching for the de-friend button. Get off the ledge - I'll talk you down.

You know the guy. The guy who is a so-called expert on fractal equations but can never figure out the correct amount he owes for lunch, knows every ethnic cuisine but can't cook, loves the ladies but has no game and has never found a question he can't answer at length regardless of your time constraints. Your time is inconsequential as he waxes on about the lastest episode of "Myth Busters."

If I want a legal opinion, I'll watch Nancy Grace. (How can people finish their dinner and then put on Nancy Grace?)

Why I started a blog?

I have a secret desire to be the next Dr. Phil.