Death panels are chasing me. Team Euthanasia, led by a former presidential assassin, is knocking on my door. Philadelphia is clearly the land of opportunity and second chances. A robin is studying me from its perch outside my window. Wilco is playing on the stereo and summer is soon to end.

The Friday Fish Fry

If I understand this correctly; Barack Obama is a communist, he is a also a socialist, the President wants to establish death panels prescribed by his Muslim faith, and he is a smoker. I know I got at least one of the aforementioned items correct.

Fear-mongering is alive and well in the good ol' U.S.A.

Al Sharpton and Newt Gingrich have combined superpowers to reform education. How are either of these two men qualified to reform the nation's schools? Who needs experts when Al and Newt are around? America is a great country.

Wilco's "(the album)" is a perfect summer listen.

The New York Mets are attempting to ruin my summer. Of course, that's not possible - the Mets have already ruined my freakin' year!

A recent study has found fatty foods negatively impact a person's short-term memory and exercise performance. This makes sense. Obviously the Mets are consuming a lot of pregame cheeseburgers and I've been gorging on a daily diet of steak and cheese to block out memories of this woeful season.  

I'm still trying to dry off from that Perseid meteor shower.

Has anyone noticed the size of a Hood's ice cream sandwich? This beloved, mouth-watering summer treat is most definitely shorter and thinner. And please do not confuse the Hood ice cream sandwich with a Hoodwich.

Lynette "Squeaky" Fromme was released from prison. The Charles Manson disciple attempted to assassinate President Gerald Ford in 1975, but she botched the hit. Could a reality tv show "Still Loving Charlie" be in her future?

John Edwards will announce that he fathered a love child with Rielle Hunter. Johnny Boy, there is this thing called a condom. I guess the paperback version of Elizabeth Edwards' "Resilience" will have an added chapter.

Last Sunday's episode of "Entourage", with Mark Wahlberg and Tom Brady putting in cameos, bored the hell out of me. On the links, Walhberg sported a Budweiser hat to appease the product placement gods. Love the show, but this episode was a clunker.

"Three-Way" by The Magnetic Fields is a great song. Play it loud with the windows rolled down.

The Philadelphia Eagles signed some guy (Michael Vick?) out of prison to be the backup quarterback, which is reminiscent of "The Ron LeFlore Story" starring LeVar Burton. This PETA non-approved player personnel move underscores the dilemma of being a sports fan in 2009. Does a sports fan root for the laundry or cheer for a team that doesn't violate our delicate sensibilities? Remember this is the same Philadelphia Eagles organization that fired a game-day disabled employee for labeling the team's failure to re-sign free agent Brian Dawkins as "retarted." (sic)

Billy Martin played himself in "The Ron LeFlore Story."

Forty years ago, the Woodstock weekend occurred. I still drive the VW camper that my parents drove to Woodstock. When Jerry Garcia died, this quote from my father made its way to the all-time quote list, "Jesus Christ, Pat (my mother), it's not like Frank Sinatra died." Spoken like a true Jersey guy, who views Woodstock as a bunch of sex-crazed, drug induced, dirty hippies frolicking in the mud. Peace, Love and Sinatra.

R.I.P. Eunice Kennedy Shriver. Eunice Kennedy Shriver invented the Special Olympics, which is truly an amazing creation. One person's imagination, dedication, and germ of an idea impacted millions of lives. When I go to the local grocery store, a person with special needs will sometimes bag my groceries. Did this occur before the Special Olympics brought the mentally retarded into mainstream society?

As a child I dreamed of being a professional athlete, I wish I had dreamed of inventing the Special Olympics. A professional athlete's career is fleeting - the Special Olympics is a lasting legacy.