Let's not completely delude ourselves. Mr. Sid lurks in the dark, depraved recesses of Mr. Suburban Outstanding Citizen's John Updike-like Keystone state existence. All Mr. Sid needs to come out and play is some Jimmy Beam and a night spent watching "The Thorn Birds." What will truly test the resolve of Mr. Suburban Outstanding Citizen's fragile facade of Bucks County bliss will be when his teenage daughters start dating. For those of us who have been the targets of your repeated acts of psychological warfare, your daughters' first dates will cause spontaneous acts of rejoicing unseen since the fall of Saddam Hussein. Amazingly enough, for the month of May, this blog had 24,784 total page views.